Secrets to Making Virtual Learning or Work Fit You - Become a Free-Range Chicken.
Over the past year I’ve received emails, texts and phone calls from dozens of clients and parents of clients who’ve informed me that they or their child has struggled in work or school ever since the pandemic forced most of us to work by video. It’s become a very common problem. After we overcome the learning curve of Zoom, Teams, Skype, Facetime or another virtual conferencing platform we start figuring out that it just doesn’t work as well. Even worse is a parent’s realization that virtual learning is actually detrimental to their child’s learning and/or to her or his sense of competence.
Early this week another mom contacted me because her 20-year-old adult child had been sent home from college last spring, spent the school year struggling through virtual classes, and was now profoundly depressed and lost regarding a college major and career path. When I met with her and her son, I began by telling him, “There’s nothing wrong with you, virtual learning just doesn’t fit you.” In fact, virtual learning and virtual workplaces are a misfit for at least 50% of the population and probably a bad idea for the majority of us.
There’s nothing wrong with you, virtual learning just doesn’t fit you.
Now, this isn’t the first time in history that people in charge came up with a one-size-fits-all solution to a big problem. In the early 1900s the U.S. government established compulsory (mandated) education. Compulsory education came about as a solution to two major problems – child labor in the industrialized cities and a surplus workforce during the Great Depression. Forcing children to attend school from the age of five until eighteen made it unlawful for employers to use children for manual labor but, more importantly, it reduced unemployment roles. In turn, the education system borrowed Henry Ford’s assembly-line approach for educating our children, based on the presumptions that all children developed at the same pace and learned in the same ways. In the last thirty years scientific research has shown both of these ideas to be terribly flawed.
The secret to making virtual learning / work fit you - Become a Free-Range Chicken.
Ironically, assembly-line approaches to many things are now in question. These days health advocates promote the idea of “free-range” food animals because it’s more humane to the animals and purportedly better for you. The only problem with the name Free-Range is that it can’t actually be a life without boundaries for these animals. Food animals just aren’t that smart, they need certain boundaries and protections to prevent them from self-harm like wandering off cliffs, into roads, or into the mouths of predators. My grandfather was a farmer and he would have laughed at the idea of his cattle or chickens wandering beyond the safe confines of his pastures and pens – it’s not in the best interest of the animal to wander totally free, they need boundaries.
Virtual learning or work isn’t in the best interest of everyone because it's a world without boundaries. In fact, it’s probably not a good fit for most children and many adults. Every day I use personality theory with my clients to help them determine the characteristics of their ideal work roles and settings. In many of these situations I tell them, “you’ll experience more productivity if you have a few boundaries and structures in your life”, then I help them build and practice the boundaries they need. Even the most creative, outside-the-box-thinking person benefits from a schedule. The most successful and prolific authors, song writers and artists will talk about their work routine. Just the other day I heard Rodney Crowell, a hall-of-fame country singer-song writer say, “It’s not enough to have the gift. You also have to put in the work.”
The challenge for many people is that their wiring doesn’t include a natural ability for establishing and following steps, methods and guidelines. On the other hand, some people can follow these quite easily but need someone else to provide them with the plan or system for carrying out a task – they simply don’t have the gift for creating an approach for something they haven’t experienced before. The unfortunate side of this is that many presume (Wrongly!) that they "just aren't smart enough" or that there is something wrong with them because they have difficulty implementing and following structure in their lives. And too many employers and parents presume (Wrongly!) that there is something wrong with their employee or child because he or she can't self-impose the structure needed to make a virtual situation work like an in-person one. So many people suffer with feelings of inadequacy or failure simply because a decision-maker presumed one-size-fits-all or just got lazy.
How can you be more productive and experience more success with virtual learning or work?
Ask the person who gave the assignment for specific guidelines, steps and systematic ways for completing any assignments you’re given. Force the person that gives the assignment to take responsibility for providing clear instructions and guidance, rather than relying on yourself to “Figure it out”.
Perform an internet search to find “models”, “systems”, “best practices” or “good ways” to accomplish the assigned task. I once downloaded five college application essays for my son to use as models for writing his own essay. Although he was an excellent student and had written many essays, he was unsure exactly how to structure a solid college application essay.
Get help from someone you know to be gifted in living or working systematically, maintaining life habits or personal practices. It may be unrealistic to expect yourself to become as skilled at these as they are, but they may provide just the insights you need to establish your own approach.
Form a coalition of two or join a group to work collaboratively on projects in ways that are conducive to group problem solving. You want the benefit of hearing other’s ideas, approaches and insights. All of society’s great minds were beneficiaries of the great minds before and around them.
Learn your own learning and work style. Become an expert on yourself, then you can evaluate every task, assignment and life role to determine how well they will fit you and what you’ll need to be successful in them. Few people figure out their own strengths and limitations by themselves. So if you get stuck, seek out an experienced guide.
Interact. Social isolation is bad for us. Virtual interaction (texting, chatting and social media) can’t fill the basic need every human being has for a sense of connection, community and belonging. In fact, most of these forms of virtual connection have been scientifically shown to be detrimental to our emotional and psychological health.
Be kind to yourself. No one is gifted to do everything well, and only narcissists, megalomaniacs, and psychotic people would ever believe they otherwise. Often, having difficulty with a task or approach is actually a gift in disguise. To the wise person, difficulty with a task is a learning experience to build on, rather than a critique to lament.
My work is about helping people determine the type of work that truly fits them. If you want to make your work-life fit you, then I’d love to talk with you.
With My Best Regards,
Dr. Jim Bailey